Online Dating Conversation Topics For Starters: Best Examples And Tips

Last updated: November 2, 2021

8 minutes read

Online Dating Conversation Topics For Starters: Best Examples And Tips

If you’re searching for some great online dating conversation starters, you’ve come to the right place. Here, you will find the best conversation starters for dating, some essential rules of dating/texting online, and some tips that will help you not to screw everything up!

Rules of dating texting: Important things to know

Yes, there are rules here! Of course, no one can make you follow them—but sooner or later, most online daters understand that these rules are fundamental. So we offer you to save your time—just read these rules of dating texting to know how it all works!

Texting something like “Hi” or “Hello” doesn’t work. It’s one of the most important things about texting etiquette dating—you don’t send meaningless messages because women typically don’t even bother to respond to them. Coming up with a personal message might look a bit time-consuming, but in the long-term, it will save you a lot of time!
Grammar and spelling do really matter—probably even more than you think. Unfortunately, there are no statistics on how many messages are ignored every year because of grammar and spelling mistakes. Still, we can assure you it’s hundreds of thousands or even millions of messages. You don’t want your message to get into that bin because of a few mistakes, right?
Long, boring, overloaded messages are probably even worse than the previous examples. It’s totally ok to send long messages when you already know something about each other and have a lot to talk about—but if your conversation starter is, say, 6-8 sentences long, it will be a conversation ender in the absolute majority of cases.
When it comes to online dating first message, “corny” is almost always “creepy.” There is a time to cast away stones and a time to gather stones together. If you do everything right, the conversations will be sexual—but starting the conversation with a corny message is far from doing it “right” unless you’re searching for an FWB type relationship. A sexually explicit first message is definitely not the correct answer to the question “what to say in first message on dating site.”
Don’t wait for too long to move your online dating conversation offline. Your goal is most likely not to find a pen pal but to date a woman offline—so waiting for weeks or months before you meet usually makes no sense. 1 week of chatting is typically more than enough to initiate the date.
Don’t call her without prior notice. It’s one of those rules of dating texting many people forget about, and it’s essential. She can be an introvert (and introverts really hate calls), but even if she isn’t, it’s about basic etiquette—people can be busy, have a meeting, be with their parents or friends, etc. You need to understand and respect it.
There are topics to avoid—politics, vaccination (probably), religion, etc.

Online dating red flags texting: Why you should be careful

A red flag is a warning of danger. When it comes to online dating, a red flag signifies that something is wrong with the person you’re chatting with. Here are the top 5 online dating red flags texting.

She talks about her ex. This means she doesn’t respect you, and she is not over him yet. Do you really need it?
She wants you to send her money. Should we elaborate here? Never send money to people you’ve met on dating sites, it’s a #1 rule from the online dating safety 101.
She gives too many compliments without any reason. This is weird and dangerous because you do not know her real purpose. Obviously, you can skip this part if you’re a 10/10.
You find her photos on lots of dating sites. In most cases, this means you’re chatting with a scammer.
She is boring or has no emotions. Unfortunately, many people just cannot connect emotionally with other people and can’t share their emotional side. The conversation with such people looks like this: “What do you do? Okay. Where did you grow up? Nice.” They ask questions, they talk about facts, and they reply immediately—you’ll quickly understand what we’re talking about once you meet such women on dating sites. It’s not a 100% red flag, basically—but if you are searching for an emotional connection or want to have some fun time on online dating sites, you need to skip such people.

Useful online dating message tips

Wondering how to start a conversation online dating? Here are some more tips for online dating conversations!

Use simple language for your opening message online dating. People are naturally drawn to simple words because they are easier to remember—so it’s always better not to overcomplicate your messages.
Don’t use sexual innuendos. First, it’s a red flag; second, it’s rarely an appropriate thing to do; third, you’ll most likely get blocked immediately. So, why even do it?
Name poems work perfectly (much better than the pickup lines most of these women have already seen, heard, and read). Potential dates want to feel special—and poetry always works great. It’s actually a scientific fact that when it comes to online dating, invitations (aka first messages) are more successful when they are rhymed with the screen name/headline message.
Be personal. Sending winks or generic messages could work 10 or 15 years ago, but it doesn’t work anymore. Address any trait in the profile of a potential date, say something nice about her hobby or about her pets, ask questions if you’re genuinely interested. You need to go personal to show that you don’t send the same messages to all of your matches.
Don’t be afraid to play out of your league. It’s not a “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take” thing, because, well, you actually can miss 100% of shots. It’s about science—the study shows that men have had tremendous success with women they considered more desirable than themselves!
Don’t over-flatter women right off the bat. Compliments are ok, but telling a woman you’ve never met she is everything you want in the world right away will never work.

What are the best online dating conversation topics?

If you’re searching for the best first message online dating examples, here they are—right now, we’ll talk about the best online dating conversation topics that always work great!

Hobbies, interests, and favorite things to do. Just don’t be direct here—don’t ask her “what is your hobby,” that’s now how it works. “What is your favorite thing to do on weekends” or “What is your second hobby” sounds much better than that.
Pop culture is probably the safest conversation topic. TV series, movies, music, Kanye West’s Donda, etc.—there are many topics to discuss.
Food, travel, and any activity outside their profession is always a great conversation topic. Just give their profile a little attention to understand where to start.
Ask about her day, but do it smartly. If you ask her “how was your day”, she’ll respond “ok”. But if you ask her “what’s the best thing that happened to you today”, she will give you a much more meaningful response.

Online dating conversation starters: Examples

If you can’t find anything interesting to ask about on her profile (and we know how to create a perfect one), you can try one of these online dating conversation starters examples. They are simple, cool, and fun:

What is your favorite thing to do on weekends?
What are you passionate about?
What are two skills you wish you had?
Is it easy to open up to people for you?
Working on anything exciting lately?
What’s your favorite ice cream?
Pick a celebrity you’d like to have dinner with?

Funny first message: Online dating examples

If you’re looking for some funny first message online dating examples, here they are:

Specific jokes—as you probably remember, personalized messages work best when it comes to online dating. That viral convo between a girl named Anita and a guy from Tinder who said “I’ve been trying to come up with a pickup line, but I think Anita has a little more time” is a perfect example of how these jokes work.
Compliments to anything other than her. If she has a dog or a cat, send her something like “Wow… those eyes. That fur. How long have you two been together? Is he jealous of newcomers?”. She’ll love it!
Harry Potter lines can work great, too. “We’re not in Professor Flitwick’s class, but you still are charming”—why not?
Intentionally awkward messages are the gold of online dating. “I have a gift certificate for Applebee’s right now. You get two apps and two entrées for $19.95. What time can my mom pick you up?”
Self-deprecating jokes can work, too. “My pillow tells me I’m a good kisser,” for example—if both you and your potential date think it’s funny, you’ll indeed have some great time!

Online dating conversation: Conclusion

Unfortunately, there are no online dating conversation topics that would work for every woman you meet on a dating website. But you have an excellent opportunity to increase your chances: follow the online dating message tips from the above text and don’t be creepy—these alone will help you have some fun time with online dating apps!

Emily Maher

Editor

Emily Maher is a professional psychologist with 5+ years of experience. She is the editor-in-chief of TopBeautyBrides.net—she is responsible for the design and tone of the publications, reviewing written content, fact-checking, providing suggestions for edits, and making final decisions about which articles and stories to publish.